Mynor

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Dear Friends Who Live 5000 Miles Away

  "Friends are like stars, you cannot always see them but you know it's always there."Dear friends who live 5000 miles away, how have you all been? How's life? How's school? Are you still chasing your dreams? Have you grown taller? Have you found the love of your life? It has been more than 3 years since I first met you. We were only sixteen years old. It’s crazy how time flies. I still remember that awkward conversation that we had on our first day. Back then, I never thought we would become this close but we ended up becoming best friends and that was one of the best things that had happened to me that year. We all had different backgrounds, spoke different mother languages, and came from different part of the world. The only thing we shared in common was that we were all loners in a completely new country.Adopting in a new place was quite a struggle but knowing that we were all in it together made me feel much better.That year, we shared so many memories together. We had sleepovers at each other’s house pretty often. It did not work out because you cannot stay up late that I had to keep waking you up in the middle of the night or I never woke up in the morning that you had to deal with my alarm ringing every 10 minutes. Do you remember that day in early summer when we jumped into a freezing cold river? It was freezing cold but the hot tub afterwards was quite awesome.Do you remember the night when we had a sleepover at man cave and I broke the toilet that you had to come rescue me? The water was literally overflowing from the toilet and spreading on the floor. Then you came in and we wiped it with someone's towel. I was so happy that you came, imagine being there the entire night trying to clean up all the mess on my own?  We couldn't stop laughing about how stupid that was. And we totally forgot to tell the person that we used his towel the next day. Do you remember having to sleep all together in a small bed? But we somehow managed it. Do you remember the sleepover when we played truth or dare and one of us had to give another a lap dance? If you don't, no worries, I still have that video. I am waiting for the right moment to post it on Facebook. Do you remember the day when you sneaked into my school for promporsal that I had to skip class and help you get ready? It was very cute though. Do you remember the prom nights and the after parties? We went to a doughnut place and then to the top of the mountain with our tuxes and dresses on? After prom parties was the crazy ones. Quoter passed 2 am, we were still dancing.  I felt happy and sad at the same time because prom was what I had been dreaming of since I was little but  I knew that the moment cannot last any longer. I will never experience high school prom again but those were truely the nights to remember. So many of those moments were quite mess but we didn't even care because we were having that much fun.I know we can never go back to those times, but all I can say is that year with you all were the best year of my life. Even it is all over, those memories stay in my heart for the rest of my life. You are like my second family even though we only spent a year together. I can be who I am and you love me for who I truly am. I never felt so comfortable to expose myself to someone other than my family. You know that I am never a morning person. You know I cry so easily but I am ugly when I cry so you keep telling me not to cry. You know I am not good at meeting new people because I am kind of awkward. You know I am lazy. You know my room is a mess but I know you still love me for being me.My friends are adventurous, brave, smart, kind and open. I admire you and look up to you. When I am with you, you raise me up to be a better person and that is something that I look for in friendships.After 2 and half years, we started to go on different paths. We all grew up and changed. We no longer talk everyday but it doesn’t mean I no longer care about you and think about you. You know I miss you with all my heart because friends like you are rare to find and impossible to forget.I need you at my wedding, to my funeral. I need you to listen to me and give me a perfect advice just like you always do, watch Grey’s Anatomy with me, laugh with me and goof around with me. The distance sucks but I still need you because you are irreplaceable. Dear friends, I am wishing you the very best in your next journey from 5000 miles away believing that our paths will cross again somewhere in the world. 

Being 20

By the time I become 20, I thought I would have my life all together knowing what I wanted to do with my life. By the time I become 20, I thought I would have no fear that I am strong enough to do whatever the life brings me to. By the time I become 20, I thought I would be independent financially and emotionally. By the time I become 20, I thought I knew how the world works. And the list goes on and on… But the truth is, none of these were true. Whatever the age you become, you can never be an adult completely. Your fear will never go away completely. You somehow have to depend on others because you cannot live on your own completely. However, I also learned that is okay, too. You do not always have to be perfect because if you are completely grown as a person, that means you will no longer grow. And I want to keep growing until the day I die because I believe that is what life is all about so I am okay for not being able to become an adult yet.I have so far lived a happy life. I have a great family who always reminds me they love me no matter what. I have many friends in all over the world. I have traveled to 12 countries. I spend a year in the United States, which widen my view. I was lucky enough to go to college I wanted to attend. When I look back on my life, I was always happy even though someone made me cry, I was still happy deep inside of my heart. And I know, not everyone could have experienced what I have experienced as a teenager. Therefore, I deeply appreciate everything that made it possible for me to live a happy life.Ever since I was little I have loved going to my grandparent’s house because it always reminds me where I come from. Granddad who still thinks I am a little girl that he gives me chocolate every time I visit them. I have so many memories there. My mom always took me and my sister there as we take our dog for a walk. My grandparents, aunts, my cousins and everyone gathered and spent time together. As life goes on, I do not know where and what and who I am going to end up. But whatever the life takes me, I want to remember where I come from. Before I turn 20, I want to leave a little message from yet 19 years old myself because we always forget how it feels like to be 19 once we turn 20.  As a 19 years old, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. All I know is that I want to be happy and I want to make people around me even happier.  The past two years, I have worked so hard to make my dream come true and I know I am almost there but now I am being too worried to make one more step towards my goal. I have failed to have a job as a waitress and I could not accept the fact that I was not able to do something that most people can do. I sucked but I realized sometimes life is not going to turn out the way you want it to be and it is quite normal.  There are so many thoughts going through my head but after everything I said, this last 20 years made who I am today and I am quite happy to be who I am. I hope I can say the same in 10, 20 or 30 years later.